The best expression of grief - though it can be damn near impossible, still - that I know of is a jazz funeral. Maybe I come from a biased perspective, but no Jewish relative of mine would ever allow people to go hungry at her funeral. Instead, offer hugs and a compassionate ear to your friends and family members who want to reminisce. Make sure that your children also understand the importance of showing respect. Maybe the sticking point is calling it a "luncheon. A wake can also signify a private informal gathering of family and close friends, with or without the presence of the casket, but generally the body is present. Consider engaging a professional celebrant or party planner who specializes in making funeral arrangements. When planning a wake, consider the specific mood and needs of the the closest family members during the day and time preceding the funeral. The reception can be as simple or as complex as you like.
What if I cry or cause someone to cry at the funeral? Most people don't want to open gifts while they're mourning a loved one, and funeral receptions don't include time like a birthday party for opening presents. We had a luncheon afterwards. I even asked a question in here about it. It generally lasts several hours in the afternoon or early evening, after the body has been prepared by the mortuary staff. If there's anything I've learned while doing this, it's that people have many very different ways of responding to death. Turn to friends and family members who have offered to help. Funeral processions generally have the right of way at intersections, and other vehicles should yield. If you're not comfortable, don't draw attention to your unwillingness to participate. Whether or not to attend the service honoring the passing of an ex-wife or ex-husband or a member of their family can be a difficult decision. When family desires a post- funeral meal, then someone apart from immediate family must take charge of planning and soliciting food from friends or a caterer. My husband and I ended up ditching the whole thing and driving to the beach. Roosevelt, who served as the 32nd president of the United States, summed up etiquette in six words: But I don't really chime with "luncheon" either. DO remember there are no hard and fast rules. Food is seldom provided for general viewings in a chapel or funeral home where visitors stay only a short while. Providing food after a funeral service is a traditional and considerate gesture, especially when people have come from out of town or the service concludes near meal time. This means it won't be the most copacetic event for you. It wasn't as tacky as you may think. At times convenience dictates that families have a small gathering at a restaurant. Behavior A post-funeral luncheon is a time to remember a loved one and offer support to family members and friends. The atmosphere of a wake is that of an informal gathering and not necessarily glum, although tears and laughter may mingle. Any flowers or a plant are generally sent ahead of time, but are not mandatory. It may take longer for you than it does for others. You can expel a lot of anger at people who don't deserve it, just because they don't feel what you feel. Post-Funeral Etiquette May 19, 5: Cry enough sometimes, and you'll wind up laughing.
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RECEPTION AFTER A FUNERAL SERVICE
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