A lot of our sexual terms and slang were -- and often still are -- based mostly on how men experience sex and sexual response. People with vulvas in particular can experience another orgasm, or several, right after the first, or with only a short rest period between. We also know that feeling satisfied by sex is, for most people, about much more than orgasm. But no, it's not "just a joke. I hope this has answered your questions, and given you some food for thought.
I know you didn't say this, but I feel that retaining one's independent sexuality when one is partnered is so important that I had to mention it. When someone else brushes it, the way they touch you is often different from the way you touch yourself. Being sexually involved with a partner is usually going to feel different than being sexual with yourself does. Vulgar Slang To experience orgasm. All kinds of sexual activity can be considered sex, including masturbation. You mentioned that when you masturbate, you feel as if you "squirt. The circles in it are the different components that can potentially make up a person's sexuality; the size of each circle, and the way they overlap, is specific to each individual's experience, and can change over time for a single person as they have different experiences, and as their minds, bodies, hearts and lives change. You can read more about what these different components mean, and see a visual representation of the circles here. People say I'm coming or I'm cumming just before orgasm to mean "I am going to or starting to have an orgasm," and people can say it seriously, with humor, with passion, as a joke, or in all kinds of ways, just as with most phrases or words. The idea that squirting signals orgasm comes, I think, from how people with penises often, though not always, ejaculate when they reach orgasm. Many people don't realize, or forget, that ejaculation and orgasm are two different physical processes, even though for some people, sometimes -- and quite commonly, for most people who have a penis -- they happen so close to the same time, or at the same time, they can feel like they're the same thing. So I've never had sex. Other terms that people use instead of orgasm or come include getting off, climaxing, nutting, and so on. Cumming is a diminutive of coming, primarily coined by the adult entertainment industry a few decades ago. Solo sex and partnered sex aren't mutually exclusive. Is this how you will feel when you have sex? Perhaps some marketing professional had a "great" idea, and the word "cum" was born and has remained with us ever since. Unfortunately, that way of understanding things leaves many people out of the loop. To learn more about vulvas and ejaculation, take a look at this article or this one. I suspect that coming was a term coined to describe the experience of ejaculation and orgasm, in people who experience both ejaculation and orgasm, which is something people usually associate only with, and which happens most often for, people who have penises. Some people will say that the words are part of proper or standard English, because many people use those words to have those meanings. Many people find that orgasm feels like a peak, and will typically experience euphoric, joyful or satisfied feelings during and after the orgasm. The American Heritage Dictionary defines come but not cum as a verb: See how these components include not only physical aspects, but emotional, relational, and social aspects as well? Some people describe it as a rushing sensation throughout their body.
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